Human Behaviour

Lately I have been thinking about human behaviour. Of course its complex, but I still want to try to understand why people behave the way they do. Does it have to do with education? Or family background? Or environment? Or is it something beyond that? Maybe.......our "karm"? Is it destiny? Is it something we are born with? Even in a one family no two people are the same; we may have similar interests or may look alike, but our behaviours can be alien from each other.

I am also trying to figure out why "I" behave the way I do.  When everything goes well, it goes well, and I feel satisfied and confident in my decision. But when it goes wrong, then all this thinking comes into play.

In some cases, I really had no idea what I was getting into.

In another case, it might be that I did not do my research properly and there was a chance that my decision would not be the best one.

But sometimes knowing fully well that there is no good outcome from my decision or the path I am choosing for myself; I still walk on it; and I invariably get hurt or duped and then I wonder why did I do it? I knew this was not going to be good for me yet........there was some unknown force that still made me go that route. Why?

And then all the self-doubts start arising;

• Am I good decision maker?  
• Am I really capable of recognizing good/bad character in people?
• Did I have enough experience to deal with this situation?
• Did I do the "right" thing?

In my case I would say “yes”, for most part for all the questions.

Then why do I get into something that I fully well know is not good for me? WHY? And so then finally I have only myself to blame - obviously - because I have no control over other people's behaviour.

The questions that come to mind then are:

• Was there some weakness in me that I am trying to fulfill?
• Did I feel that I am strong enough to handle all kinds of problems? Or that I don't have enough issues in my life and I can handle this one more?
• Did I do the “right” thing – ethically and morally? And if I am doing the right thing, then why am I having doubts? And if I did not, then I have to bear the consequences of my actions (which does happen in some cases)

OR - most importantly...

• Do I see the best in people and feel that they will do the right thing (ethically and morally) and never cheat me or lie to me? (Which means that either I am an optimist or naive).

My decisions are always based on happiness - mine and the other persons. My decision should make me happy and should not cause harm to anyone else. I will deliberately and consciously not harm anyone.  Sometimes people do get hurt - but was it because of me or themselves? That is for them to decide based on their own background and maturity. Although I know most times I will be blamed for their unhappiness also, but if I know I did the "right" thing - then I can sleep peacefully.

With all this going through my head, I happened to visit a faculty here in DSVV with hope to find a good book to read on meditation, to calm my mind.  Just my luck that I saw a book, "Chanakya on Management" by Ashok R. Garde. As with many others, I have always admired Chanakya neetee.  I think he is the most practical teacher in the world and is valid for all times. He was relevant then (330 BC), and he is relevant now. His teachings are as relevant to an individual as to an organization or a nation.

So far I have read the first chapter and it really has made an impact on me. I will try to write the gist of it for myself in my blog so I can read it whenever I feel I am having doubts about decision making or ethics.

Hopefully I will also find answers to why people make excuses for their behaviour; why they don't mean what they say; why they don't do what they say; why they always blame others for anything that did not work according to them etc......