Wednesday, December 17, 2014


Making sacrifice is not easy.

Sacrifice is defined as, "the act of giving up something that you want to keep especially in order to get or do something else or to help someone".

Giving up something or someone is not easy. Attachment, dependence and happiness - all have to be given up in order to make a sacrifice. Sacrifice is about love, friendship, duty and doing the right thing. Not everyone can do this. One has to be strong in order to do the right thing.

Most people will either not recognize the sacrifice at all or think other people's sacrifice is something that they had to do.

The person who makes the sacrifice - who gives something up - has the hardest of it all. They have to give up a lifestyle, they have to give up on love, they have to give up money, they have to give up relationships and so much more. And worst of all - they have to feel the sadness of that loss. They are the only ones who know that if they had not made the sacrifice for the other person, things would have been much harder for that other person. Meanwhile - the "other person" may be clueless....

Making sacrifice is not easy......sometimes one can see it in the kids - some kids give their things easily to others while others don't. Not all adults can make sacrifices. It is hard.....

I don't know if sacrifice is a character someone is born with or that they develop? Who knows? But definitely maturity and sacrifice go hand in hand.  When you are mature, you are able to make sound decisions and do the right thing (hopefully!).  One thinks that mothers will  always make sacrifice for their child - but that's not true; I have seen many selfish mothers!

No relationship guarantees sacrifice - you are lucky if someone makes sacrifice for you - it means you are loved by them.

Tuesday, December 16, 2014


Hopefully, as we age, we mature, not just in our physical appearance but also in our grey matter (the brain!). Its very easy for adults to look at kids below 10 years of age and say - oh they are still kids - they are not matured yet. So there is something about adults that make them more mature than kids. Although, I will say I have seen some kids who are more mature than adults!! (Not because those adults are mentally challenged - or maybe they are!)

The first quality I want to discuss here is - responsibility.

First and foremost when you are mature you are able to take responsibility for your actions in all walks of life. First - YOU are responsible for YOURSELF and your actions, then you are also responsible for family, friends, coworkers etc.  You live in a house/apartment: how should you care for that dwelling? Is it maintained in a good living condition? Your own personal space - is it in order? Can you find something when you need it? Do you lose your stuff readily? etc.

What about family? You should know what your responsibilities are towards each member of your family (regardless of what your spouse or kids do). Are you able to care for them, or do you behave like a child and only take care of your own immediate needs? Can you look beyond yourself and take care of your family? Having a family does not just mean having a spouse and producing babies or just providing them shelter - its also about the emotion, the feeling, the love and caring that goes in it that makes a family a family. But for some it is just a responsibility and nothing of the emotional involvement. That is also not life...but that is another blog.

Although I don't think have friends is a sign of responsibility, it is a personality thing, but maintaining those friendships is certainly a responsibility. One should behave in a proper manner, and if you like the person then maintain those friendships. It takes a lot to maintain healthy relationships - no relationship should be taken for granted. That is a recipe for loss of relationship.

Your belongings - are they in good shape? Your vehicle - car, motorcycle, do you maintain it or bang it up in places? Your clothes say a lot about how you are as a person (sadly) - do you maintain your clothes? Are they clean? Are they torn? Do they look yours?

All the above are responsibilities of action. Then there is the emotional responsibility.

How well can you handle stress? Do you go into tantrums or lose your temper if things don't go your way. Do you have the emotional depth to understand the other person's situation? Do you look for retribution? Are you manipulative in behavior? This also means you lie or not tell the truth, to get your way.

Do you have the strength to say no where a no is necessary and the strength to do the right thing? Some people may have never experienced being told "NO" for something, so when they encounter it the first time, they don't know how to handle it. They have always gotten what they wanted.

These are also part of emotional quotient. I think we are born with some emotional quotient while some we develop as part of our life experience.

Many people will never even try to understand where the other person is coming from or their perspective; so they will never understand other's situation; and most don't care to know also. That invariably leads to one of the person's getting hurt. One does not have to like the other person, or do good for them, but the least they can do is not hurt them. Recognizing and doing the right thing is maturity.

And then there is the financial responsibility.

Hindu philosophy says that first 25 years are for education, the second 25 years for family life, next 25 years for spiritual awakening and the last 25 years to give up the worldly benefits.

So....this means, its okay to live with parents or depend on family early on, but after that you are supposed to be on your own - in fact you should be able to support your family also. One should not have to ask family or friends for money once their education is complete - that is what education is for - learn how to earn money on your own. There can be a whole other discussion of women being financially dependent on their husbands. This depends entirely on the relationship between husband and wife - I will not get into that now.

So... this is the first little installment of maturity as relating to responsibility....more will come.