Saturday, February 27, 2021

Covid Continues

It has been just about a year of Covid now. I would still like to call it the Wuhan virus since it originated from there. 

Life is becoming a routine at home. I am actually liking it. Is that weird? I must be an introvert! 

Work - This is possibly the thing that I miss most - that is seeing my students in a class. Zoom is just not the same. The class participation is abysmal and so is the attention span. The interaction is not smooth and not being able to see them is the biggest drawback for me. Also - I am a little bit of a performer, I need an audience to tell my jokes and show my chemistry demos. I feel a chemistry class is incomplete without demos. I am really missing those! And regardless of whether the students will remember the demos in the future or not, they are missing the fun part (they don't know it).

I have been going to teach the labs since Sept of 2020, which is really helpful for me and the students. All of us get to come out of our shells and be with people again. And it has been very successful.

What I am totally not missing about my work, is the office hours. That was 90% of just sitting in my office for nothing. Students rarely show up for anything. No faculty ever came by to socialize so it was like imprisonment for me. I can do grading and course prep at work, but it is so much easier at home. I am more productive with my time at home.

Personally - My personal life has improved a lot. I am more relaxed, I have been walking 2.5 mi daily and now 5 mi daily. I get up at 6:30 am to go for my walk so it does not get too hot. Don't know how my evening walk will work out once summer is here. My eating is a hit and miss. The one thing I have followed diligently since Aug 2020 is intermittent fasting. I am surprised that I don't much hungry at night. I do eat a bit of junk food - but that is normal for me. I would say overall my calorie intake has gone down by about 300 Cal.

Ever since I got the hedge cut off at my front entrance I have gone a little cookoo about gardening. I am really enjoying planting different kinds of plants. I feel this is the time for me to do this. After this semester goes, I don't know when I will at home like this. This is so relaxing. I have become a little thief of plants, I buy cheap plants and I ask for plants from whomever is willing to give me some. I have cleared out more area for gardening on the southern side of my house. It gets a lot of sun, so hopefully I can grow plants well there. 

I have been able to hang out with a few of my friends, we go out to eat and talk about work and other things. My social life was not that much to begin with, so this is quite okay for me. 

I have not been able to binge watch too many shows as other people do, I don't know why! Maybe I don't have the patience to that long or I cannot find anything that interesting. But I have kept myself entertained with movies and the current shows I watch. That is sufficient.

And then I have to also convert my Blackboard class to Canvas and write questions for the chemistry app. All that is also moving along slowly but steadily.

I think it will be tough for us to come back to work full time once all is normal.

Speaking of normal - the Vaccine! Z great vaccine is out and there but the people who are working and actually need it are not getting it. Only 65 and above age group is getting it. They are getting ready to party! While we, the workers, are still waiting. USA is weird! They should have prioritized teachers and grocery and restaurant workers after the health care workers and then given to the senior citizens. And there is no vaccine for children yet so we are not entirely out of the woods yet. 

The main thing I miss I think of being normal is psychological normalcy - when I can go out without a mask and without feeling that I will get sick if I don't do this or that; when I feel comfortable enough to eat in a restaurant; when I can feel comfortable in a classroom full of students. I think that may come only after vaccinations and maybe another year of seeing low or no cases. I am waiting for that time to come.....

Monday, February 22, 2021


I really miss collegiality. I have had an active social life all my life starting from high school. BS and MS were amazing experiences with my friends and then came PhD. That was possibly one of the best times I had of my life. There was so much learning and so much fun. It was incredible time of my life when I was 21 years old. My PhD friends are still my close friends.

The two postdocs were okay. I did not know what to expect, but in both cases I was able to have great friends with some semblance of a social life.

Then came my first job at Park University. That was my "growing up" time of my life. There was constant learning of new things and that included chemistry also. But what was really good was my colleagues. It was a small university and I had a group of faculty, all of us of the same age group, and we would hang out all the time. People came and people left, but I was able to maintain a good level of social life. In my 11 years I had done so much there and made so many friends in so many walks of life. 

Most of my colleagues were quite supportive, except for one, because of whom I had to leave. Except for that one, I could walk into anyone of my colleague's office and they into mine and we could talk about anything. I did not need an appointment or worry they would be rushing anywhere. Our teaching load was 12 cr hours so most faculty were in their offices, working. I could go to anyone, talk to anyone for however long time and about anything. It was awesome. Our brown bag lunches, seminars, workshops, all helped us learn from each other, get to know each other - and the rest was up to us. There were many social events to get us together. It really was quite a family feeling. 

I still had some really good friends at Park. I feel that I really enjoyed my time there and learned A LOT from my colleagues.

Then came Shenandoah University. I think I have some really bad luck with having at least one colleague who is my absolute nemesis, and not because I said anything, but because of their own insecurities. In my two years there I made some really good friends - they are almost all lost now because it was a very short friendship, but I am still in touch with a few.

My college PBSC has been the least collegiate of all the places I have ever been. Faculty and staff work here like a factory worker, they come in, do their work and go home to their families. If they hang out, they do it with their family. No friends allowed. I have been here 11 years and I still cannot say I have a good friend/colleague here that I can trust or hang out with. Whatever conversations I have had with my colleagues has been because I initiated them. No one is interested in me.

The administration has encouraged this kind of lack of social contact among faculty. So we all work in isolation, we cannot learn from each other (if I have, I have to make an effort - it is not natural conversation), and we definitely don't socialize. Everyone here is out for themselves. They don't think of the collective, they are vicious, competitive and will stab me in the back the first chance they have. It is a tough place to work. 

I love living in Florida and I am also getting too old to move anywhere. So regardless of whether this place supports collegiality or not, I am stuck here. I just keep my head down and teach my classes and come home. I have made some friends outside of work but collegiality is something else for a career.

Thursday, February 11, 2021

Trump Impeachment - 2

 The previous president of USA has been impeached a second time for inciting violence on 6 Jan. I watched almost all of the event that occurred on 6 Jan - it was a horrendous attack on the capitol building. It was hard to watch and I cannot even imagine how it must have been for the people inside. Some important personalities like VP and speaker of the house are protected, but the staff? They will also suffer the PTSD of this event. 

Here is the video that the impeachment managers put together and presented to the senate. It is powerful and has video that has been obtained from security and personal videos.

What is sickening is that the senate will exonerate him. No one needs to see the video above to convict him. Just the event on 6th Jan was enough. But this GQP senators (grand Qanon Party) are traitors and should not be sitting in that building. Anyone who can let anyone maraud their house like this and not hold the perpetrator accountable does not deserve to be there. 

I think these GQP senators don't want to hold anyone accountable because they want this kind of thing to happen again and they like the violence. That is the only answer possible. It has been so whacky to see the impeachment managers defending VP Pence, when he himself has not spoken up about this. And none of his party members are supporting him. Pence's own boss sent the mob to kill him, and the party is okay with that? This is all so messed up! What is wrong with the GQP??? How does one not have nightmares after such an incident? The video of Pence being shoved away by the secret service was really impactful for me. This kind of shoving has never been done anywhere else to any other VIP because it has never been this unsafe. But it was unsafe in the US Capitol building? Caused by USA's own president? 

I know that elections can take care of some this people but what if they don't? What if their constituents like this kind of violence and power grab? How did McConnel and Graham get reelected at all in the first place? I am sure there is some rigged election there. 

The GQP is as responsible as Trump for the mob attack on the 6th Jan because they also did not acknowledge the Biden victory. Trump could not have done it by himself. The entire GQP has been supporting him since the beginning. What I have not been able to understand is why? I understand about the power thing and all...but the man has no character or morals. He is a narcissistic sociopath. Anyone willing to kill his own very loyal VP is dead in my books. But this GQP is still by his side. How can they be willing to compromise so much for his voter base? If they tell the truth, the base will understand and move on. Trump will not live forever - but the party will....or maybe now it is time for the party to die. 

I am so mad and so disappointed in this whole process that I don't even know how to deal with my emotions. It has been frustrating to watch all this and feel normal about this country anymore. We seem to be spiraling down into some hellhole of our own making. These White people will forever be grieved and because of them we will all have to keep on suffering. I am not saying all White people are like this, I am talking about the ones who support Trump.

Sunday, December 6, 2020

The Last Days of Trump Reality Show

People have always thought that Trump was the president and should be treated like one. In reality he was always just Trump with all the perks of the presidency with none of the responsibilities. He never cared about anyone but himself throughout his four years and its ending on that note as well.

People voted him in to bring about change - and they got change. One of the things that republicans always want to do when they get into the government is to break it. Why? And then they want to keep getting elected again and again so they can stay in the broken government. They are completely demented. And obviously they don't have need to help the people who elected them because they are in it to break the system.  And their electorate is so stupid they keep electing them again and again - masochists. Or actually their leaders are so good in convincing them that the "other side" is preventing them from doing anything - when reality is something else.

Trump was the chief of all. He is the ultimate con man. He has been perfecting it all his life. All he can do is bully, grieve, be a victim and not take responsibility for anything. All he wanted was personal benefit from the presidency. He only knows how to do transactions in money so all his dealings were purely bank oriented and the more for him the better. He completely took advantage of doing business at his properties where ever he could. It was all about him and his family. His daughter and son in law are as big of grifters as he is and his two older sons are equally selfish.

I don't know why reporters were always respectable to him - he wanted to use them or they were the enemy. Reporters should have treated him like the reality star he was and held him to that standard. He was never the president that everyone wanted to think he was. He had no respect for the office, for his cabinet, for his colleagues or even his voters. He is a person of no character and no morals and never will be. All throughout the pandemic he had super spreader events making his own supporters sick. How can such a person be taken seriously?

The presidency meant nothing to him except power to do whatever he wanted, punish whoever he wanted, fire anyone and of course make money....not to forget enjoy golfing on his own clubs. Again, no character.

Despite all this everyone is talking as if his words have any meaning. They don't. He is not ruining democracy by not acknowledging the results. He sounds like a deranged old geyser and a sore loser. I know he has that position of presidency but until now he has never done anything to be deserving of that job so why now? Our democratic systems are working just fine - voting was fine, counting was fine, people stood by the results ethically. 

What is really not working is the republican party - the congress - they are the ones who are the true enemies of the people and looking to end democracy. They are the ones providing oxygen and water to Trump. What people are not able to see is that the republicans are the ones who are doing the most damage. All of them should be held accountable - but the will not, because they are lucky, their constituents are stupid and ignorant. 

Sadly, we are going to be stuck in this rut until people start becoming more educated and understand what is happening in their own lives - who is for them and who is against their interests. But again, sadly their interests are so narrow and short term that they cannot see far enough for what is good for everyone. When you cannot see a human being as a human, everything is lost.

Saturday, December 5, 2020

The Wuhan Virus - 9 months later

 It has been 9 months since we in USA have been in limited mobility due to the Wuhan virus. I cannot even call it Wuhan virus anymore - because USA now owns this virus. I cannot believe I live in the most advanced country with the most cavemen like thinking of so many people. How did it come to this?? One answer - Trump. When someone at the top with the blowhorn keeps insisting it's a hoax then people tend to believe him. Also, these are the same people who voted for him. And sadly, they are everywhere.....

I wish it were possible to take all the people who did not believe in the virus and put them in one state and lock that state down. Let them kiss and go to the bars and enjoy their freedom as much as they want there. That way I can can enjoy my freedom here with my mask on. These stupid people keep contaminating the system. And their leader who does not give a damn about them keeps stoking all this freedom nonsense.

How can one convince someone who is dying of the virus that they are dying of the virus if they choose not to believe? How do you tell them the virus does not care what you think - it's there and it loves your lungs. 

More than 270,000 people have died - more than in any country and yet there is no sight of brakes in this ride. These people who don't wear the masks are the prolifers. They don't see 270,000 embryos in these poor souls who died (okay - some were not poor souls - some were the idiots who did not believe in the virus in the first place.) I hate the double standards of these prolifers - they allow people to die of the virus but want to protect the embryo in a woman's womb. It makes it clear that these people have nothing to do with life - they want to control a woman - that is all - plain and simple.

Anyone who says that God will take care of them should not be allowed to carry a gun and should not be allowed to go to a hospital when they are sick. Just leave those people with their Gods. 

It will take a year or two before life feels normal again. When will we feel comfortable going out in public without a mask? Washing hands is a good thing - but until now I had not used hand sanitizer like the way I have now. I don't know when I will feel normal again. 

This virus could have been controlled easily if everyone had just followed some simple guidelines. We are all suffering because of the few million who refuse to listen.

Wednesday, August 26, 2020

Black Lives Matter

 Why would we have to say Black Lives Matter if they did matter? No one ever said White Lives Matter or Chinese Lives Matter. We have to say BLM because their life is in danger....all the time. I think the media has also helped bring it to light lately. For all of us who were living our lives blisfully ignorant about all the police killings going on, it was wake up call. I knew about all this but not to the extent that it has been going on.

I have become more aware of for the past 8 years when it young Trayvon Martin was shot for no reason but wearing a hoodie. How can that happen in such an advanced country? Since then I have been observing more of these incidents and each time they seem more and more wrong.

How can any human live with such wrong doing? Why don't more Americans stand against this kind of police killings? I thought about this a lot and only answer is that the police don't think of these Blacks as human beings. Now that there have been more videos of the shootings, it is clear that the police is racist.They are not protecting all Americans, only the white ones.

Last night was the ultimate. I was sleeping at night when a car drove by on Jog road and something from it sounded like three - four loud thumps. I woke up with a startle and thought someone was banging my door. It was the car and not my door. But I was awake for a long time, thinking about what happened to Breonna Taylor. The police did not even give her the courtesy of knocking on her door! They just came in and shot her eight times. And all the time I thought, if some cops had come in and shot me, what would they say to my family? How would they get around it and blame me for my shooting. What kind of lies would they tell to protect themselves? 

The police here seem to be above any law and with no consequences. When the security of a country is based false values there will never be any justice. I had such a high opinion of America but it turned out to be another corrupt country.

Monday, April 27, 2020

Teaching During the Wuhan Virus

We had our spring break in the first week of March. My friend in Ohio was already going to start remote/online teaching. Another friend mentioned that her daughter was coming home on 16th March from her university in Missouri after they decided to go online for the rest of the semester. I was shocked! 

Nothing was going on for us yet at Palm Beach State College. We went back to college after spring break and I was a bit concerned about being there. I took tissue to the class and told my students that they were welcome to sit far away from each other if they wanted (they did not). Classes and labs went on as usual. On Thursday I mentioned to one of my classes that if we do go online then it will be class as usual for us.  And then on Friday we got the email saying that classes are suspended for the next week and we will be going remote/online for the rest of the semester, so we have to prepare our courses for it. 

This was very hastily done. We were to report to college on Monday as usual, but no classes. We had a faculty meeting with our Associate Dean where he answered questions. We all decided as a chemistry department to skip one lab, that was missed during the suspended week, and do videos or dry lab for the next two. We all had only three labs left. After collecting all my notes etc. that day, I left. 

Next day I came back to record two organic labs, one for 1 and one for 2. One of our lab techs helped to record. It felt just strange to be there doing this with the virus hanging around. It took him about a week to send it to me and then I worked on it and uploaded it for my students. They were good in watching it and giving me a good report on it.  Once the labs were over, I was feeling a lot better.  I had to make a final exam for my organic 1 lab. It was interesting to make it on Blackboard. It took me a bit but I think I was able to do a good job on it. And so did my students, they did well on it.

I spent the week of 16th March working on changing the dates for the work due and making new calendars. I had done a lot of work already on making all my lectures online on YouTube, so I did not have to worry about that. I had to sign up for some online testing for my organic because I knew that was going to be hard to test on Blackboard (our learning software). We all had to learn how to use Collaborate, which is to teach a class in synchronous manner. It is a good software.

The college messed up a bit on this. They knew this was coming and could have warned us earlier to get ready so we don’t lose that one week. But I don’t know what they were thinking! Because of their lack of timely action, we lost a week and we had to work extra hard one week to get things ready for the rest of the semester. And then within the next week the campus was shut down. The technology we ordered was put on hold without telling us for more than a week. That was stupid. I had to order a laptop in order to be able to teach my classes. I just cannot do without writing in my classes. Other professors may teach using power points but I don’t. 

The students were very good in adapting the new method of learning and I am grateful for that. There were some minor cheating incidents, which was kind of expected.  Other than that, students were participating more actively in class and came to class more and more on time. Although there were some that I lost due to them having kids at home and their time was divided. 

I will be glad when this semester is done in the next couple weeks. I am sure the students are also just waiting for this to be done. 

The couple good things that came out of this were one, I got to learn some new technology in Blackboard. I got a new laptop; a Microsoft Surface Pro and I am really enjoying using it. The second thing that is really working out is that I finally have a schedule that I like. I go for my exercise in the morning, teach, take a break and teach again and then I am free! It's nice that I am free after 2 pm. Although I still have work to do but I can do it at my own time.

I am very much a homebody and I love where I live so it is not a big problem for me to be working from home. Maybe I am even liking it. Although I don’t think it is good in the long term.