Sunday, February 8, 2015

Needs and Progress - 2

In the previous blog I stressed about making a change in your life to make a change for the better in society. Take a chance, take a risk.

In this blog I want to say that it really is not easy to take risks. A number of these risks involve losses that we have to live with. Not everybody comes out a winner.  Then there is the whole thing about capability - some people are just not capable of doing anything different. And lastly we get used to a way of life and we become good at it. And one day we realize - I don't know anything else! I don't know what else to do in life.

Let me start with losses involved in taking risks. I can take a risk with the blessing of everyone, but still, I may end up losing something in life. The loss can be taken as a positive or negative depending on the kind of day I am having. The loss can be of moving to a new location, thus not be able to live close to family and friends (I have been there); the loss can be that of moving to a different country and thus losing touch with family and friends and culture (I have been there!). The loss can be of telling your nice boss - I need more, I have to take this opportunity and move on to a better job (I have been there!). The re-locations can be due to family needs, education or job opportunities. But there is still a loss. If it all works out - then this change can be taken positively. There is no doubt that one grows so much by leaving one's comfort zone. If it does not work out - then also one should have the courage to either change that status to something else or move back. No one can ever predict the outcome of a decision.

Then there is the loss of family/friends if a decision was made that was not blessed by all. This loss is harder, its more emotional. Sometimes we have to make changes in our life so we can get up in the morning and look ourselves in the mirror and say, "I did it - I changed my status quo. Whether that change is good or bad - time will tell, but I made the change that was best for me."  These decisions are tough, we may feel lonely at times, but it turns out it needed to be done. The decision to not support a child/sibling/friend for their drug habit, especially after you have tried so much, is a tough one. Your heart breaks but sometimes a drastic step has to be taken. Leaving an abusive relationship - so hard! To get the courage to stand up and say "No more!" is a hard one. Adopting a child - sometimes a decision that seems so positive can also cause a rift in the family. Or on the other hand - getting an abortion - such a big decision. But we need to make these hard choices so our needs are met so we can progress in life - move on to better things, happier days.

If someone is limited intellectually to make changes then they cannot be blamed. Their exposure, their experience is so limited in life that they don't know all their options. And sometimes, even if they know their options, they are really afraid to do anything.  These souls live and die in their status quo. Some may be happy in it, but the sad ones also cannot change. Such is their life.

The last point I want to make here is that sometimes even if we want to change our status quo, we are not able to. Its not about money, its not about risk, its also not that we are afraid of change - its just that we don't know what else to do in life. We got educated to become doctors - well...we are treating patients. What else? We started teaching - we teach...what else to do? Our training drives our careers and sometimes, especially in the science and technology field it is really hard to shift gears mid-life or later. Soft fields like humanities have a better chance of getting molded. So we get stuck.

And absolutely the last thing.......if one wants change then the best thing to do is to really go deep within oneself and follow ones dreams. What did I want to be when I was growing up? Or even when I was in college? Living in USA has shown me that its never too late to do anything. People follow their dreams even in old age. People get married in their 80s....! Amazing! Now that is progress!

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